How to Ask a Guy When You’re Not Sure He’s Gay
In spite of what many people believe, there isn’t
always such a thing as fool proof “Gaydar” when it comes to knowing instantly
if someone is gay or not. If there was such a thing, life would probably be infinitely
easier when it comes to meeting new people and asking them out. Obviously, you
don’t want to make a mistake and risk offending someone or having them laugh at
you when it’s clear that this person isn’t gay. However, there are ways to find
out if someone is gay or not before you ask them out on a date.
To begin with, approach a new person that you’re attracted to with the idea of starting a friendship rather than a relationship. For example, you may meet this delicious guy standing in line waiting for coffee at Starbucks. You’re not completely sure, but you THINK he’s been flirting with you. Since he’s not that open about it, though, you don’t want to jump in with both feet but you DO want to see him again. What should you do?
Find out what sort of things he enjoys. It’s pretty easy to find out these sorts of things while standing in line and chatting. If he’s into sports, talk about favorite teams. Maybe he likes video games. The point is to find common ground and approach the subject of doing something “guy related” at some point in the future. If you feel the timing is right, go ahead and suggest it before your coffee is served. In fact, if you’re both free for a few minutes, suggest having your coffee together there in the shop. This will give you even more time to talk and get acquainted.
Once you start doing some of those guy things together and forging a friendship, it should become even more obvious whether or not your new target is gay. However, if he’s bi or simply not out of the closet, he still may not let on to you that he’s interested. Start to slowly broach some gay topics with him, such as latest celebrity gay couplings or marriages, or the newest person to come out of the closet. Eventually, if he’s into you, he’ll say something that lets you in on that information.
You need to remember that there are still many gay men that are afraid to let their true selves be seen. If your target is one of these guys, it may take a bit of work. But once you’ve earned his trust, he’ll be honest with you. That’s when you can make your move and ask him out. Who knows where it could lead?
Just on the off chance that you were wrong about him, you’ll eventually know the truth. Instead of gaining a new romantic prospect, you’ll have just gained a new friend. That’s not such a bad thing because you really cannot have enough good friends. So, either way, you win.
To begin with, approach a new person that you’re attracted to with the idea of starting a friendship rather than a relationship. For example, you may meet this delicious guy standing in line waiting for coffee at Starbucks. You’re not completely sure, but you THINK he’s been flirting with you. Since he’s not that open about it, though, you don’t want to jump in with both feet but you DO want to see him again. What should you do?
Find out what sort of things he enjoys. It’s pretty easy to find out these sorts of things while standing in line and chatting. If he’s into sports, talk about favorite teams. Maybe he likes video games. The point is to find common ground and approach the subject of doing something “guy related” at some point in the future. If you feel the timing is right, go ahead and suggest it before your coffee is served. In fact, if you’re both free for a few minutes, suggest having your coffee together there in the shop. This will give you even more time to talk and get acquainted.
Once you start doing some of those guy things together and forging a friendship, it should become even more obvious whether or not your new target is gay. However, if he’s bi or simply not out of the closet, he still may not let on to you that he’s interested. Start to slowly broach some gay topics with him, such as latest celebrity gay couplings or marriages, or the newest person to come out of the closet. Eventually, if he’s into you, he’ll say something that lets you in on that information.
You need to remember that there are still many gay men that are afraid to let their true selves be seen. If your target is one of these guys, it may take a bit of work. But once you’ve earned his trust, he’ll be honest with you. That’s when you can make your move and ask him out. Who knows where it could lead?
Just on the off chance that you were wrong about him, you’ll eventually know the truth. Instead of gaining a new romantic prospect, you’ll have just gained a new friend. That’s not such a bad thing because you really cannot have enough good friends. So, either way, you win.
